Why Did You Choose France and Not England?
It cannot be harder than seeing the people who colonized your ancestors being given the free reigns to do as they please while you are told that your talents and your contribution do not matter in your own country, one that is supposed to be your home.
Vous parlez Français au Kenya? Do you speak French in Kenya?
Pas du tout, on parle Swahili et Anglais, les langues officielles et plein d’autres dans les différents regions de pays. Not at all, we speak Swahili and English which are the official languages and many others in different parts of the country.
Pourquoi vous avez decidé de venir en France? Pourqoui pas Angleterre, c’est peut-etre plus facile là, parce qu’ils parlent anglais non? Why did you decide to come to France? Why not England. Isn’t it easier there because they speak English?
I always wonder how to answer such a question. Why did I not choose the easier path, in this case a country that speaks the language I am overly familiar with. There are several reasons why I find it difficult to answer such questions, which I am bombarded with every time I have an interaction with a French person whether they are young or old.
I am not an ignorance healer
The first reason is, I do not understand why they would be so interested in taking this conversation so much further yet they really do not care to know my reasons. It is clear that anyone who asks whether or not French is spoken in Kenya is highly ignorant. There is no way in this day and age that anyone, especially in these self pro-claimed western countries with alleged advanced civilization, could not know about which country speaks what language - at least the basics of each country. For a country that spent the better part of the 20th century inhabiting African lands and with its footprints still very much visible today, it’s own citizens should surely have basic knowledge of African countries. By the time I was 10 years old, I could name at least 180 countries and their capital cities so there’s no excuse for anyone in the western world not to have the knowledge of the entire world at the back of their hands but I do forget one thing, they do not consider Africa to be a part of the world.
The second reason is because again, if only these progressive westerners understood about the relationship between former colonies and their colonizers, they would have some sense…I actually do forget. Most French people actually do not see anything wrong with their colonial history. They are proud of conquering African countries and ‘sharing’ their values with the world. To this day, France still has colonies known as overseas departments which are considered to be property of France on paper but the people living in those countries are not considered French because they do not look French. So if I explained to one about me not wanting to live in England, whose presence in my country has had long lasting consequences, ones that are the reason why I chose to leave my country, they wouldn’t understand and trying to make someone understand my point of view is a chore I do not indulge in. We have brains for a reason and thinking is just but an elementary choice mon ami.
There couldn’t be an easier choice
The other choice why I find it hard to answer such a question is the assumption that there is an easier option. It is true that living in France as a foreigner is challenging especially when you have to file taxes in French — I can barely do it in English — but, it is naive to think that only language determines the level of easiness. There are several truths about choosing to live in western countries when you come from an African country, this applies to many western countries.
- Your presence is a nuisance. Most people do not want you in their countries even though most of these countries took pleasure(and continue to) in philandering our own countries for their own gain. You will be reminded, many times, why you are not welcome.
- The weather is beyond atrocious. It is only after I left Kenya that I realized what a blessing of a weather I had taken for granted for years. You only get about three months of proper sun in a year. The rest of the time its just a bunch of cold which makes you question your life choices not to forget the seasonal depression that winter comes with.
- The food is not that good. It is common to hear people talk about all the great food especially in a country like France that is highly praised for gourmet food. French pastries are top notch, I cannot argue with that but the rest of the food is incomparable to Kenyan food. Produce is absolutely bland, especially the ones labeled as organic. It mostly has to do with the climate and perhaps the soils they grow in. I grew up in the village, in the highlands of Rift Valley, with rich soils and a rich climate. Everything we ate, we planted and the animals were always fed with the best ingredients and taken care of with the utmost care. We had a balanced relationship with the ecosystem, something that is a myth in western countries that is why sustainability is one of the gimmicks of today’s world. Even junk food in Kenya tastes like heaven on earth [the roadside fries in brown brown bags absolutely unmatched]. The sweet taste of fruits is an absolute rumour on this side of the world. It is such factors that made it very easy for me to say adios to meat and embrace a plant-based lifestyle.
These are few reasons but whichever western country I go to, I will experience these. Therefore, instead of choosing the ‘easier’ option, i’d rather one that will be a challenge because I get to push myself a little further, which is something my Kenyan schools always instilled in me: “get out of your comfort zone”. I worked in Nairobi for quite some time before I decided to say goodbye to my mother country and once you have lived in Nairobi, trust me, you can live anywhere in the world. I live in Paris now, and it’s not as a challenging as Nairobi. At least here, when I am stressed, I can go out for a walk in a beautiful park 5 minutes from where I live. In Nairobi, when you are stressed going outside is not even an option and staying in is probably one until KPLC decides you don’t need electricity.
In Kenya, we are born into an already difficult situation, a country that is still very much colonized but wears a shiny sweater written ‘INDEPENDENCE’. Everything that a child is taught is to ensure their survival in the world. I didn’t know that there was an alternative to survival until I learnt that there is something called living when I moved to France. Our schools are militant, we are trained to be workers, to follow rules, to not question authority, to not use our brains, to worship the white man. The workplaces in Kenya will kill you with work, give you a meagre pay and expect you to say “thank you for this opportunity, I will not say I deserve better because I know someone else would do anything to have this same opportunity.”
The systems in my country taught me to accept mediocre as the norm. I refused to accept mediocre and to go against what the system tells you, that is more difficult that anything else. To say no when everyone else around you says yes makes you look like you are insane, even when everyone else is wrong. I could have chosen to go to England, I chose France and maybe learning to do everything in French is hard but it cannot be harder than being in your own country and being made to feel like you do not matter. It is not harder than being oppressed in your own country. It is not harder than seeing the people who colonized your ancestors being given the free reigns to do as they please while you are told that your talents, your contribution does not matter.
I know that where I come from makes me unwanted in these western countries but I chose this because I do not expect to be wanted anyway. I chose this because I was tired of being rejected over and over by my own country, one that is supposed to be a safe space, one that is supposed to be home. How can you explain to a French person, who truly believes that the world revolves around them, that the choice between France and England is rather easy because the difficulty is in really knowing that you do not belong anywhere, neither in your country that is supposed to be your home, nor in the one that you have chosen, for the moment.
